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Thursday, April 25, 2013

I live every woman's dream! (apparently)

Cruising through facebook the other day, I seen something that made me a bit irritated. It was an e-card that said the following "I hear you. Raising a kid and running a household keeps me busy, too. I also have this gig on the side called a full time job."

Now, what I consider to be ignorant remarks, usually does not offend me. But since I have been a stay at home mom for the majority of the time I have been a mother, I'm really getting annoyed at the stereotypes that are placed on myself and other women who have this way of life. My counter arguments have always been a soft "it's not as easy as you think" or the famous "I do work!"

There seems to be this battle, of the moms who work outside of the home (I don't use the term "working" mom, because both work) and the stay at home mom. Who has the upper hand? Who is superior and more ambitious? Who does more? My opinion on the matter is, neither! Being a parent in general is hard. Both endeavors have their perks. I do not believe that one trumps the other and each of these worlds, needs to be respected.

I stay at home because financially, it makes more sense for our household. It would cost us more money for me to have a job outside of the home. Between gas and daycare alone, would be my whole paycheck. Not to mention, that we would eat out more often and other expenses.

I do not stay home because I am a spoiled, kept woman. We are extremely frugal and modest when it comes to money. We have a budget each month. Planning for emergencies and rainy days are our top priorities. I have learned how to be resourceful and I have learned to distinguish a want, from a necessary need, yes, the word necessary is very important here.

Work, yes, I do work. I work ALL day long. I do not take breaks, watch t.v., and most days I don't even eat a decent meal. Lazy? Some days, I wish.

I've heard, ''when I get home, I do the same thing you do.'' Yes, it's a stressful part of the day, isn't it? Well, thats what we do all day. I find it almost funny, when people think I don't need a break from my chores or children, because I do not work outside of the home.

It is estimated that a stay at home mom's work, is worth a salary of 112,962 a year. Putting in around 94.7 hours a week.

Working outside of the home allows a break from motherhood, and studies have shown, that mothers  have less worry, depression, stress, and anger. Also, women that return to the workforce shortly after childbirth, report better physical and mental health.

The grass isn't greener on this side ladies. Don't believe me? There are countless stories, like the ones herehere, and here, of women who have done both, and chose to go back to work.

Listen moms, what I'm trying to say, is that we are both exhausted and in desperate need of a vacation. One path is not harder than the other. We both have to make these sacrifices for our families. We each, have things to cross off our to-do list at the end of the day.

I see what you do, using your sick and vacation days to take care of a sick child. Feeling guilty because you make it home just in time to put your little ones to bed. Heartbroken, because you had to miss another milestone. I see you, I just want you to see me too.

I want you to see how we long for some adult interaction, to drive in the car by ourselves, blasting our favorite song, which we may sing horribly to. I want you to see my puked on shirt I am currently wearing, while patting a baby on the behind that I'm trying to get to sleep on my chest, because he is fighting it. All the while, typing this article with one hand. I want you to see, how it pains me that our work is underappreciated and how staying at home, to raise my children, is not considered an honorable job.