Wednesday, May 1, 2013
But she has been taking it to a whole different level. We thought the reason for her acting out, was because of the baby. So we made sure to include her in everything, and have been spending lots of one on one time with her. She doesn't seem to be jealous of the baby. She is loving, gentle, and even down right protective over him. So, I have came to the conclusion, that she wants to see how much she can control. How much she can get away with.
She defies everything we say, screams and yells at us, spits, kicks, hits, and is destructive. I would fight a grizzly bear, rather than dress her in the mornings. Either she's running off in between each item of clothing you put on her, or it includes twenty intermissions for a solo performance of Ring Around the Rosie!
I have exercised the patience of Job, I've done the whole, bend down and talk to them at eye level thing. I tried a reward chart with stickers, which I still have a million stickers left! I have asked other moms for advice, time-outs, and even lost my temper. I have cried out of frustration and going constantly, to the Lord in prayer . After an episode last night, I prayed even harder, to the point of pleading.
This morning I woke up and decided, that I am going to take a different approach. My interaction with her this week, will be direct, short, and firm. There will be no, pick up your toys, please. Don't do that sweetie, listen to mom, please! Oh no, none of that, operation Mommy Bootcamp is in full effect!
So, hide your husbands, wives, and grandparents eyes. A day of reckoning is upon the Reyes household, and I'm about to turn it up. There will be no need for Nanny 911. Instead, it's Mommy 411 up in this mug, and I'm going to give you the business! Mommy Bootcamp has initiated, as of this morning.
She came downstairs wanting chocolate. Instead of trying to explain, for the umpteenth time, why she can't have chocolate for breakfast, I said no once, then proceeded to fix her cereal and a cup of milk, ignoring her repeated request. She eventually gave up.
I fed the baby, while she ate her cereal and afterwards, headed upstairs to dress her. Along the way, I grabbed a belt for a more visual precursor. If you must know, I didn't use it. Please do not lecture or send me links of research or studies, claiming how this kind of punishment will raise a violent child, that hates my guts, and eventually try to kill me. It should be used correctly, with an understanding, that inflicting pain is not the objective. Besides, I participated in such a study called, ''Step out of line, I'll beat your behind'' while growing up. I turned out fine, my parents are alive, I love and most importantly, respect them. Anyways, moving along.
She began whining and demanding that she wear her blue church dress, and how she didn't, want to wear her other clothes! I calmly and firmly told her to get dressed. No!, she shouted, then ran to her room. I followed behind, and told her calmly again, to get dressed. No!, she shouted again. I turned and slapped the belt on the bed, with more force than that mattress has seen in a long time! I turned back around and told her once more, calmly but firmly, ''Get dressed.'' Needless to say, she complied. I was even able to fix her hair immediately afterwards. ''Let's go'' I said, instead of, ''Alllll done!'' She came downstairs and got in the car without giving me any static.
This may seem a bit harsh, but I have tried all the nice talk, the explaining, the requesting. I have had patience beyond what I should, and most days felt defeated. So, if it is wrong to be more unyielding and stern with my child, to reclaim parental authority. I don't want to be right. I refuse to raise her with a perverse sense of self entitlement and disregard for proper authority.
I never wanted to feel like a ''mean mom.'' But I do, want to feel the joy that a parent/child relationship can have, living it up to it's full potential.