The Lady on the Corner

An incident that occurred at the beginning of last week, which had left me exceedingly upset, was still lingering. Leading me to look deep inside myself, provoking feelings of inadequacy and a discontentment with certain aspects of my life.

I got dressed quickly, gathered the baby, and headed to the store to pick him up some much needed items. While inside the store he fell asleep. So I decided to slowly cruise the aisles and let him grab a quick nap. Even the smallest of sounds seem to magnify when your child is sleeping, so I became ridiculously annoyed of any and every activity in the store. How dare you stock your shelves, can’t you see I have a sleeping baby here!!

I paid for my things and headed home. As I came to the entrance for the highway, up ahead I seen a pregnant woman on the corner holding a sign. I tried to read her sign, but passed too quickly and wasn’t able to read every word. I caught a glimpse of the words ‘kids and food’.

Remembering I had 5.00 in cash, I immediately turned my car around and handed her the money. As she approached the car, I was able to fully read her sign, ‘I have no job, I need food for two kids, and have no money for rent.’ I did not feel satisfied in giving her such a small amount. I went home rapidly gathering anything I could give her.

I returned and pulled into a parking space beside her car that most certainly had seen better days. I gave her a few bags of food, medicine, personal items, diapers, and formula. I had never met such a thankful soul. She strongly embraced me and whispered, ‘Jesus loves you, you know.’

I shook my head and replied with a smile, ‘Yes, I know.’ We parted ways and the happy feeling that comes from helping someone was not there. Although glad to help, I didn’t give her anything that wasn’t already given to me by the Lord. I was merely a vessel for his service.

What I did take from her was an invaluable lesson. The words spoken to my heart was not the usual tone of comfort and understanding. It was a resonance of reprehension and scolding. These are the words that filled my mind:

How dare you be so selfish. Rolling about in your self pity, losing sight of things I have provided for you. I give you a life of comfort and sufficiency, lacking of nothing and you are feeling dissatisfied? I bless you with two healthy children and a husband who is capable of providing for you all. I allow you to work at home, raising a family, where I assigned you the most important occupation a woman can have, and you feel there is greater job for you elsewhere? There is no better contribution you can give them. Have you forgotten of times past where there was no food or shelter? I give you all these things and you have the audacity to think you need something more. Do you not see this woman, seven months pregnant standing in the hot sun begging for food so that her children may eat?

I have to tell you, I felt ashamed. How could I forget a life of such struggle and strife? How could I forget the very essence of what it means to have a thankful heart? As I sat in the Church pew that following Sunday, my pastor quoted a verse. ‘Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.’ Philippians 4:11. He went on, “Learned. Being content is something that is learned. Sometimes, we have to learn it again and again.” He made the point about how having too many distractions can take our eyes off of what’s really important. He is right. I didn’t need anymore distractions that life can already throw at us. Clouding my vision of God’s everyday presence, and ignoring the purpose for which we were truly created for.

After service, my husband and I drove by to see if she would be there. But the only thing left was an empty water bottle situated on the curb where she had stood the day before. Regretfully, I didn’t get her name. I will probably never see her again. She will never know that in my eyes, she wasn’t the only one gaining something that day. We both fulfilled a need of one another. Watching someone in such a situation and still praising the Lord was truly a magnificent sight. I am thankful to have met such a grateful spirit. I am thankful to have met the lady on the corner.   

Written by: Melissa Reyes

My Thirty Lessons

As I am quickly approaching thirty, I have taken the time out to do some reflecting. Looking back on the things I have overcome, the woman I have become,  and awaiting what is to come. I have always been told that life really begins when you’re thirty. I am starting to understand the meaning of this statement.

Life is a gigantic classroom and we are the students. You never cease learning. So, in tribute, I decided to list thirty lessons I have been taught so far in this incredible, awe-inspiring, and often hysterical life of mine.

1. There can be much noise in silence. Over Thinking can be deafening, destroying the healing that is to be found in its stillness.
2. Sometimes people do not need to hear the words. They only just need to be hugged.
3. Pulling the positive out of negative situations, can make you a more grateful person.
4. Having a sense of humor can get you through most anything.
5. When you find a man, make sure he is one, in every sense of the definition.
6. Becoming a mom qualifies you to make one mean grilled cheese sandwich!
7. It also teaches you how to juggle, carrying ten things at once and a baby. Truly an astonishing circus act that can rival the Ringling brothers.
8. Forgive. Yourself and others.
9. Take a deep breath. 1...2...3..OK
10. Be nice. Be kind, even when it kills you.
11. It doesn’t matter what they did or how it happened, just do the right thing.
12. Admit your wrongs and do not choose to be blind to your own faults.
13. In one way or another, you will reap the actions and words you used out of anger.
14. You’re never better than anyone, you are just better than what they may choose to do.
15. Learning to let go of resentment is difficult, but it must be done.
16. Accept the fact that some things will never change and just change your attitude towards it.
17. Life has its seasons and this too shall pass.
18. There is no room for pride in any kind of relationship.
19. Listen more than you speak.
20. Be humble when approaching a situation, doing so will most likely result in your favor.
21. Tell the people you love what your favorite qualities in them are.
22. Be mindful of how you can make someone feel.
23. When having an issue or bad day and have to be present in a social setting, smile when you arrive. Do not air your dirty laundry, keep personal matters private.
24. Regardless of your feelings, never wish someone an ill wellbeing.
25. Chocolate can solve a lot of problems.
26. Prayer can solve all problems.
27. Everyone deserves to be loved.
28. It’s fine to cry sometimes and let your emotions out. But afterwards, pull yourself together and find a solution or learn to deal the best you can.
29. Strive to be content and do not put expectations on others.
30. Life. Take it all in. The people you love, your marriage, children. Cherish it because it is fragile, everyday fleeting, and a gift.

Mommy Bootcamp

I have had it! My three year old's behavior, has been completely out of control lately. She has been testing my husband and I for quite sometime, (as children most often do) and we have dealt with it accordingly.

But she has been taking it to a whole different level. We thought the reason for her acting out, was because of the baby. So we made sure to include her in everything, and have been spending lots of one on one time with her. She doesn't seem to be jealous of the baby. She is loving, gentle, and even down right protective over him. So, I have came to the conclusion, that she wants to see how much she can control. How much she can get away with.

She defies everything we say, screams and yells at us, spits, kicks, hits, and is destructive. I would fight a grizzly bear, rather than dress her in the mornings. Either she's running off in between each item of clothing you put on her, or it includes twenty intermissions for a solo performance of Ring Around the Rosie!

I have exercised the patience of Job, I've done the whole, bend down and talk to them at eye level thing. I tried a reward chart with stickers, which I still have a million stickers left! I have asked other moms for advice, time-outs, and even lost my temper. I have cried out of frustration and going constantly, to the Lord in prayer . After an episode last night, I prayed even harder, to the point of pleading.

This morning I woke up and decided, that I am going to take a different approach. My interaction with her this week, will be direct, short, and firm. There will be no, pick up your toys, please. Don't do that sweetie, listen to mom, please! Oh no, none of that, operation Mommy Bootcamp is in full effect!

So, hide your husbands, wives, and grandparents eyes. A day of reckoning is upon the Reyes household, and I'm about to turn it up. There will be no need for Nanny 911. Instead, it's Mommy 411 up in this mug, and I'm going to give you the business! Mommy Bootcamp has initiated, as of this morning.

She came downstairs wanting chocolate. Instead of trying to explain, for the umpteenth time, why she can't have chocolate for breakfast, I said no once, then proceeded to fix her cereal and a cup of milk, ignoring her repeated request. She eventually gave up.

I fed the baby, while she ate her cereal and afterwards, headed upstairs to dress her. Along the way, I grabbed a belt for a more visual precursor. If you must know, I didn't use it. Please do not lecture or send me links of research or studies, claiming how this kind of punishment will raise a violent child, that hates my guts, and eventually try to kill me. It should be used correctly, with an understanding, that inflicting pain is not the objective. Besides, I participated in such a study called, ''Step out of line, I'll beat your behind'' while growing up. I turned out fine, my parents are alive, I love and most importantly, respect them. Anyways, moving along.

She began whining and demanding that she wear her blue church dress, and how she didn't, want to wear her other clothes! I calmly and firmly told her to get dressed. No!, she shouted, then ran to her room. I followed behind, and told her calmly again, to get dressed. No!, she shouted again. I turned and slapped the belt on the bed, with more force than that mattress has seen in a long time! I turned back around and told her once more, calmly but firmly, ''Get dressed.'' Needless to say, she complied. I was even able to fix her hair immediately afterwards. ''Let's go'' I said, instead of, ''Alllll done!'' She came downstairs and got in the car without giving me any static.

This may seem a bit harsh, but I have tried all the nice talk, the explaining, the requesting. I have had patience beyond what I should, and most days felt defeated. So, if it is wrong to be more unyielding and stern with my child, to reclaim parental authority. I don't want to be right. I refuse to raise her with a perverse sense of self entitlement and disregard for proper authority.

I never wanted to feel like a ''mean mom.'' But I do, want to feel the joy that a parent/child relationship can have, living it up to it's full potential.